Hey, Guys. So I came across a funny video on Youtube by CharyJay, a prominent hair and make-up vlogger. She is famous for her amazing hair as well as her cool style videos for natural hair. Her video was called Sh*t relaxed girls say to natural girls, modeled after the Sh*t white girls say to black girls fame. The video called out probably in my opinion the most popular things that people say to natural girls like the OOOoo so famous "You are so Brave to go Natural" and "When Are You going to get Your hair 'Done'". This video made me reminisce on the Sh*t not only relaxed girls but people in general say to me in regards to my natural hair. Though I didn't get such harsh comments like the ones stated in the video (all of my closest friends and family are supportive of me going natural and some have been natural way before me and wouldn't push perm down my throat like the cure for AIDs). I can go on and on about the things that people have said to me about my natural hair, but I will only name the top 5 that have stood out to me. Here is the link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5ha8lafbi0&list=UU_ntSr05CDWC6bLOoqgMGPQ&index=0&feature=plcp
1. You are Soooooo Brave!
No, I'm really not. What makes me anymore brave than a girl with straight hair that has been wearing her hair naturally as it grows out of her own scalp. Oooo I get it. It's because straight hair in our society is the norm and the standard. People with naturally straight hair don't even take two seconds to think about their priveledge that our society awards them. Kinky haired girls like me on the other hand, are reminded everyday why our hair is the scum of the earth. You don't see it in hair and beauty commericals of any kind, you don't see it in the magazines, billboards or any other type of medium for that matter. Why? because we are taught that our hair isn't beautiful or appealing. We are taught that are hair will hold you back in life, not help to propel you forward. So yes, in that context it would seem extremely brave to wear that exact hair texture and type unapologetically but it shouldn't be. At the end of the day hair is hair. How we feel about it and view it is based on the society in which we live as well as even family values (depending on how your family feels about natural hair). So in truth Soldiers putting their lives on the line for their country or their beliefs in general to me is brave, not wearing my hair as it grows out of my head.
2. When Are you getting your hair done?
Loord! If i have a dime for everytime I heard that my ass would be rich. I spent an Hour and a half last night twisting my hair last night. It seems pretty freakin "Done" to me. But no, what people really mean when they ask that question is when are you going to "really" do something with that mop top of yours. When are you going to get it out of our sight. Put it in Braids, Hide it under a Weave! Do SOMETHING! Cause it's ok to go natural, but you just can't have it "Out" for all to see. Have some DECENCY! This is the vibe i get from people when I get asked that question. It's like a bite from a mosquito. Annoying as hell, but something that you just have to deal with. Is it a crime if I don't feel like having my hair in braids all the time. Sometimes I really don't mind having my hair out in a natural style.
3. How you gonna get a Man with that hair?
I havn't had this question put towards me specifically but people have made the connection to natural hair and being "single" visible to me. My opinion, I'll get the right man that won't be a waste of my time. I am fully aware that we live in a society that praises straight hair as the main standard. We are raised to belive this since childhood. I remember back in the days when me and my sister would pretend that we had straight hair by lifting our T-shirts up halfway, so the neck part would be our hairline and the rest of the shirt would fall on our backs and we would pretend we had long straight hair ( I know I'm not the only one). It's seen as a social norm that men would be attracted to long hair, but I still believe that beauty is something that is subjective and just depends from person to person. I'll admit that even with natural hair I've managed to turn a head or two, which proves my point. This myth that natural kinky hair will have you ending up single and alone is nonsense. There are men out there that even prefer a girl with natural hair.
4. Who You Tryna be ? Erykah Badu?
Or Jill Scott, or Lauryn Hill, Or India Arie. People will pull out every natural haired celebrity or singer out the book to describe your hair. I've personally gotten Erykah Badu and a guy said a had a "Lauryn Hill" vibe going on. There are by no means insults. Anyone that knows me knows that Erykah Badu is a musical genius and Lauryn Hill is a Legend in my eyes (The Miseducation of Lauryn hill is one of the best albums of all time *Kanye Voice*) but why can't I just be me. When a girl has her hair straight she doesn't give off any vibe or isn't trying to be anyone. Why do I have to be someone else or give off a natural vibe just because I am wearing my hair naturally?
5. You can go natural, I can't , I don't have the hair for it?
I HATE IT when people say this. Anyone can go natural regardless of hair texture and curl pattern. This belief that only individuals with biracial or multiracial hair types can "pull off" the natural look and still look nice and acceptable in the eyes of the Eurocentric beauty standards of our society, is another idea that further demonizes anything potently black or relating to "full black" DNA. If you take care of your hair and make sure to give it all that it needs to thrive it will reflect that regardless of your heritage. Kinky Curly hair isn't something that is meant to be full on contempt and scorn and we don't need to do that to ourselves.
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